Ode To Mullet

from by Plains Wanderer

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T: Hey mum, I'm home,
I got a haircut like you told me to.

B: Hey Darl, I thought you were going to Damo's?
Come up stairs and show me your new doo.

T: I did go to Damo's, his sister cut it for me,
She could open up her own shop.

B: Damo's sister's twelve, she must be a savant,
now come up stairs and show me your new mop.

T: M'kay, I hope you like it
cos I'm diggin the shit out of it.

B: OI! Language!
Only mothers are allowed to say shit.

T: I'm right behind you now
you can stop bleaching the bath.

Why'd you go and do something so daft?!

T: It's not that daft really… Its just a haircut
Its just my very first mullet!

And I'm feeling good.
Ain't that what it's all about madre?

B: Mate, its not the 80s…
Thats not fashion, its suicide.

T: It can't be that bad,
what if I get it dyed?

B: Someones gonna die in a minute,
You're making my heart palpitate.

T: Y'know I'm no good with big words
I'm the first kid to get a negative reading age in this state.

B: Yeah, and zygotes are probably
better decision makers than you.

T: Hey now, goats don't make decisions
otherwise they wouldn't end up glue.

B: Thats horses mate, but anyway
what provoked you into such sin?

T: I thought the mullet was the epitome of hairstyle practically.

I imagined the top of my head would be so much cooler
but I could still feel the back blowing in the wind.

B: Darl, thats not reason enough
to get a mullet!
Now tell me why you got that abomination of a thing…

T: Mum, I'm in love with a man.
A man with a mullet.
And you always told me there's nothing wrong
with loving someone.

He brings me comfort
when I dream
He's Al Montfort
He's more than he seems.

B: He brings you comfort?

T: Yeah, when I dream.

B: Well who the fuck is Al Montfort?

T: He's more than he seems.
He makes me cream.


from Emu War, released January 26, 2014



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